Ever notice how the best stories you’ve ever read always tug your heartstrings but also manage to put a smile on your face? That’s the power of great storytelling. And when it comes to writing obituaries, we want to do exactly that: honor someone’s life in a way that reflects who they really were—and share it so others can join in remembering.
Of course, this isn’t just any story. This is one of the most important pieces of writing you’ll ever craft. It’s for someone you deeply love, someone who deserves a send-off that resonates with all who read it.
But here’s the twist: writing an obituary doesn’t have to be lonely or daunting. And it doesn’t have to be stuck in a once-upon-a-time newspaper listing. We live in the digital age—and there’s a whole realm of online tools (including AI!) that can help you. In this post, we’ll walk through how to write an obituary that best reflects your loved one’s unique life story, how to gather the best anecdotes from friends and family, which AI tools to lean on, and where to share the final piece so it gets the most thoughtful attention.
Let’s dive in.
Traditional obituary elements you want to cover:
Most obituaries open with a statement like: “Jane Elizabeth Parker, 79, passed away peacefully at her home in Chicago on January 15, 2025.” That’s standard. But you don’t have to stop there. The obituary can be so much more than a few lines of facts.
Pro tip: Readers want the highlight reel: a snapshot of who your loved one was beyond the usual stuff. Think passions, quirks, life philosophies, and personal achievements—those traits that bring their personality to life. For example, you might say, “My uncle’s daily routine always included a 5 a.m. walk to feed the neighborhood stray cats—he believed they deserved a friendly face before anyone else.”
We often think obituaries must be formal and subdued. But genuine warmth and realness stand out, especially when readers are grieving. Remember, you don’t have to turn this somber time into something worthy of Saturday Night Live—but sprinkling in a little color is a gift to those who knew the deceased, especially if they had a big personality in life..
Tone check: Yes, it’s okay if your obituary brings a smile (or even a chuckle) to someone’s face. People reading this are already grieving. Authenticity and warmth – and remembering the good times – can feel comforting.
Don’t do this alone—it’s too heavy a lift. Plus, you risk leaving out important moments that only certain family members remember. Here’s how to gather great input:
This approach not only saves you time, but it also helps unify the family during a difficult moment—turning it into a group tribute.
Yes, you can harness AI for obituary-writing help without losing the personal touch. The trick is to guide the AI with strong prompts. Here are a few tools worth checking out:
Remember: AI is a helper, not the final word. You’re in the driver’s seat. Use these tools to overcome writer’s block and find the right words, but always do a thorough edit to ensure everything is factual and heartfelt.
Yes, they’re still a thing—though circulation might not be what it was 30 years ago. Still, many people appreciate a printed obituary as a keepsake. Plus, older relatives often check their local paper to keep up with community news.
Pro tip: If you’re considering a newspaper obituary, reach out to the publication early. They have deadlines and fees. They can also guide you on word count and any special formatting rules for their specific publication. This is particularly important if you want the obituary printed in multiple papers – each one will have its own guidelines.
Don’t underestimate the power of social media. A thoughtful Facebook post or Instagram tribute can allow everyone to share their own photos and stories in the comments.
Create a hashtag so friends and family can gather pictures, memories, and tributes in one place—especially useful if your loved one had a wide circle of friends.
There’s no single hard-and-fast rule. However, here are some guidelines:
Statistics won’t magically heal broken hearts, but they remind us that the ways we grieve—and share that grief—are evolving. By putting an obituary online, you’re extending your loved one’s story beyond the immediate community, giving more people a chance to remember, grieve, and celebrate together.
Online obituary publication also makes it easier to upload screenshots to platforms like Kwillt and for future generations to find using websites like Ancestry.com.
Before you hit “Publish,” run through this quick checklist:
People reading your obituary are grieving. They might be immediate family, distant cousins, old classmates, or acquaintances who only glimpsed your loved one’s light a couple of times. Help them feel connected. Provide just enough detail to make them see, hear, and feel your loved one’s presence—while guiding them on any next steps (like funeral details or online memorials).
It’s about connection—plain and simple. The more personal and sincere your writing, the more it will resonate.
Writing an obituary that truly reflects your loved one’s life is a meaningful way to ensure their memory lives on—both in hearts and in the digital space. With a little help from AI tools, a collaborative effort from family, and a thoughtful choice of where to share, you can create a story that captures the essence of who they were.
And if there’s one last piece of advice worth underlining: don’t be afraid to break from “the way it’s always been done.” This is your loved one’s legacy. Celebrate their life in the ways that feel most authentic. Whether that’s a short, sweet piece in the local paper or a vibrant digital tribute with photos, quotes, and comments from half the planet—what matters is telling their story in a way that brings comfort and hope to everyone who reads it.
You’ve got this. And your loved one’s life story? It deserves every bit of honesty, warmth, and originality you can give.
Need help creating a digital memorial? Kwillt is here to make sharing memories and honoring loved ones as meaningful and simple as possible. Because when words fail, pictures and shared stories speak volumes. Let’s keep their story alive—together.
Feature Image by Andrey Cherkasov/Getty Images
